nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I checked into jail on foursquare
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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