My friends, they love my intelligence
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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