Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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