I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Mom said you looked used
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
