OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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