i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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