Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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