so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We need to get me chipped asap
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
