OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize