i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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