i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
