can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
