I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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