Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
