do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize