your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
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