I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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