haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
