do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
