i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
