Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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