the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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