I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
