Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Are my feet made of real feet?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
