Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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