Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
