Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
