can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Randomize
