So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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