She said her name was "party"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
