Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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