I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I am midnight drunk by noon
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
