I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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