i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize