I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
false alarm. still invincible.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
