She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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