do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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