Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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