i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
