if i died would you start the facebook group?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
