wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
