D3 body, D1 cock
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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