Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
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When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
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Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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