Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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