so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
