I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
