No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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