I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Randomize
