eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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