Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
