Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
