Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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