I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I need to sanitize my soul.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
