I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
