I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay