You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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