i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
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What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
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We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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